War of the Roses

Although this story is somewhat disturbing it is way too funny not to share. First, I would like to clarify that Tolly and I love each other dearly although I probably won't be able to convince most, WE know it and that's all that matters. One time I overheard Alissa (daughter) asking Tolly why him and I fight so much. His response was "Because we are very passionate about each other"...lol

So...the other night, after the kids went to bed, Tolly and I were having a conversation (we should have known better...we rarely have a conversation without it ending in a fight) and lo and behold...we started fighting. He wasn't responding how I thought he should so I started slinging insults. The more he ignored me the meaner my insults got. Anyway...i never did goad him enough to respond so i just went to bed. Hailee still sleeps with us so I decided to sleep in her bed.

Tolly has a crazy work schedule so he needs to sleep anytime he can...knowing this, when it was time to take Alissa to school at 7 am I had her go wake HIM to take her. Little did I know...Tolly had been stewing all night about my verbal attack on him and had just fallen asleep in the early hours. To say the least, he was a little peeved. After dropping Alissa at school, I hear him come into Hailee's room...i figured he wasn't going to let me sleep. What I didn't know was that he had a glass of water...which he dumped over my head. OK... I probably deserved it so I turned my pillow over to the dry side and tried to go back to sleep. I say "tried" because his plan didn't include me sleeping. He came back into the room in 10-minute intervals to spray me with the squirt bottle. I know...what a creep! He did that a few times before I decided to get up. We take turns being the submissive party so at this point (plus it was morning and for some reason I turn back into a princess when the sun comes up) I am not planning any retaliation. However...as I am going into the bedroom (where Tolly is now sleeping) I see the squirt bottle and can't resist the urge to grab it, turn it on stream and proceed into the room...it's pay back time! Obviously Tolly knows me better than I think because as I quietly approach him with squirt bottle aimed at his head, a scene from The Matrix plays out before my eyes. In what appears to be slow motion, he flings back the covers and is brandishing an air assault pistol. Do I squirt or be pelted? I squirt! He pelts! After being hit a few times I duck behind the door for cover still delivering a steady stream of water at his head or at least in the general direction of his head. I am getting the best of him because the gun has to be cocked every time he shoots. It doesn't take me long to realize how ridiculous the situation is and I start laughing...for a second. Then I start crying because I just can't believe how far we go. As soon as he sees that I am crying he throws down his weapon and rushes to my side and.. we live happily ever after.

What were we fighting about in the first place? Who knows! Some people would call it spousal abuse....I call it passion! LOL